Because Michelle says I have to.

You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
I have managed to almost read Fahrenheit 451 twice. The first time was in 11th grade English at the Southern Baptist School. We had started it with our new English teacher, and she was fired before we hit page twenty for letting us watch The Natural in class. Because it contained a “cuss word.” Our old teacher returned, and we spent a month reading The Scarlet Letter out loud, thereby giving me a life-long unjustified hatred for Hawthorne.
The second time was several years later, when I bought most of the works of Bradbury at my favorite bookstore’s going-out-of-business sale. I think I quit that time because I couldn’t bear the idea of burned books. Perhaps I shall try again this summer.
All of this is to say that I have only a vague idea of what this question means. Therefore I shan’t answer it.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Hrm. Yes, although I have a hard time drawing a distinction between crush on and want to be. Those are very often the same thing for me. Lessee: Gilbert in any of the Anne of Green Gables books. Also Anne. Orlando, in either incarnation. Nick Caraway, although I’m not sure why. Almasy from The English Patient. Sabina from The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

The last book you bought is:
Currently on order:
Cornbread Nation I: The Best of Southern Food Writing
Morning in the Burned House
This is unusual, because usually the last thing bought is a research book. These were on-sale birthday presents to myself.

The last book you read:
I usually have several going at once. Just finished Digital Copyright by Jessica Litman and It Must Have Been Something I Ate by Jeffrey Steingarten.

What are you currently reading?
(Going through the stack, in no particular order, and am now too lazy to link. This is a few more than I usually have going at once, but I’ve had lots of time to read lately.)
Copy Fights.
I Thought My Father Was God.
Last Chance to Eat: The Fate of Taste in a Fast Food World.
Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior.
Emergence.
The Laws of the Web: Patterns in the Ecology of Information.

Five books you would take to a deserted island
I assume, like most people who’ve posted this, that the last person on the island left the complete works of Shakespeare. Therefore:
The OED.
The Norton Anthology of World Literature.
Remembrance of Things Past, because I’d have time to get through it.
Can I count all of Kundera as a box set? If not, then The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
The Portable Faulkner.