Things That Are Good for Stapling:
Paper. Cardboard. Boxes. Insulation. Visquene. Ex-boyfriend’s clothes (to the walls and ceiling of his walk-in closet. Including all his shoes, which should hang from the ceiling by their laces.*)

Things That Are Not Good for Stapling:
Flesh. Ankles. Kristas.

*Yes, this was an early-twenties incident. I’m generally calmer now.