I am nearly always up before Mister Husband, and he nearly always stays up later than I do. Therefore, we have a division of labor: it is my job to wake him up in the mornings, and it is his job to tuck me in at night. It’s all very snuggly and cute. We’ve been doing this since we moved in together.

The problem is that both of us have a tendency to do good thinking in dim, transitional-sleep moments, those times when you aren’t really asleep but still aren’t awake. He does this far more than I do. Since it’s nearly impossible to tell if someone is asleep or just thinking while appearing to be asleep, it leads to conversations like this:

Her: Good morning! Wake up!
*bounces on bed*
Him: I was thinking. I had a thought. And then you bounced me and it was gone.
Her: Well, how the hell was I supposed to know? You looked like you were asleep! Have you been sleep-writing again?
Him: Yes. And I was doing a good job, too.
Her: Well, you should figure out a way to communicate this if you don’t want to be woken up.
Him: Hmmm.
Her: You know what you need? You need a little neon sign above your side of the bed, and it should have a little switch that you can flip so it will either say “Asleep” or ”Philosophizing.” Then I’ll know how to approach the situation.