Or, why I didn’t take exams but had a totally excellent summer that was productive in its own unforeseen way.

Miles driven: 6,000
States visited: 10
Childhood traveling dreams realized: numerous*
Professional conferences attended: 1
Consulting hours: several hundred
Interfaces wrangled and tested: 1
Alpha testing rounds completed: several
Interview Protocols developed: 1
Handbooks written: 1, 50 pages thereof
System Message Protocols developed: 1
Individual guide-participant messages developed as per protocol: 40
Semi-annual reports written: 1
Beta tests with live subjects launched: 1
Other logistical tasks completed: numerous
Non-exam books read: 16

• Atwood: The Little Black Book of Stories


• Rushdie: Step Across This Line


• Rushdie: The Satanic Verses


• Fitzhugh: Harriet the Spy


• Fitzhugh: The Long Secret


• Rollins: Get In The Van


• Rollins: Black Coffee Blues


• Rollins: Do I Come Here Often?


• Rollins: Smile, You’re Traveling


• Epstein: Snobbery


• Spitz & Mullen: We Got the Neutron Bomb: The Untold Story of L.A. Punk


• Belsito & Davis: Hardcore California


• Goldburg: Writing Down the Bones


• Zerubavel: The Clockwork Muse**


• Fiore: The Now Habit**


• Proulx: Close Range

Exam materials read: some but not enough
Ice cream eaten: near-daily
Adult beverages consumed: shockingly few
Vietnamese and Thai lunches consumed: many
Bagel fascination of the season: pumpernickel (with light Garden cream cheese, sprouts, and green peppers)
Trips to Farmer’s Market: some but not enough
Market Marinara cooked and frozen: several quarts
Conquered trepidation regarding: tomatillos
Aquariums established in household: seven ten
Aquaria-related stores in tri-county area left unvisited: zero
Number of tanks that belong to me: two, one of which was established in January
Days spent in Wisconsin Historical Society archives: three
Ancillary research projects confirmed there: one
Verdict regarding the individual(s) who generated all this archival material: batshit insane, in the best way

Was any of this what I intended to do with my summer? No.
Do I feel ready for anything the next year might hold? Yes. Bring it.

* In particular, for reasons of vindication: Mount Rushmore, the Mammoth Pits, and the Peabody Hotel.
** Thanks to Mel.