Miss Frizzy says I have to tell you five things about myself that you probably don’t know. I usually try to escape memes because they’re too easy, but this one is quite hard. I think I’ve told you everything that’s fit to print at some point in the past four years. But here goes. One of them, of course, is mostly a lie.

1. One night fifteen years ago, I was driving a borrowed car on a dark country road whilst dressed in complete drag. A car crossed over the median line and, since there were deep ditches on both sides of the road, I had no choice but to let them sideswipe me. I gave chase, and eventually they pulled over. We both got out and after a short discussion the driver gave me his contact information. Later, it dawned on me that he had been convinced I was a man. I would have taken this as a sign that I had finally mastered the Art of the Convincing Mustache, had it not been so dark and he been so drunk.

2. When I was younger, I could concentrate on a text to the point that someone could walk up to me and begin talking and I would not notice until they either touched me or started yelling. I lost this ability in my early 20s.

3. In my teens, my career ambitions swung among the following: veterinarian, ichthyologist, mechanic, restaurant owner, chef, photographer, small publisher, alternative healer, and sales executive. I still harbor one of these ambitions. It’s one of the ones that’s actually relevant to what I do now.

4. I once spent a year in the Scottish highlands learning to weave and herding hairy coos. When that ended, I spent a month in Oban serving blue mussels and ale before coming home. I adored Scotland, and spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how to move there permanently.

5. Almost all of the significant men in my life have had names that began with J. My first grade “boyfriend” had the same name as my husband.

I’m reluctant to foist any meme directly upon anyone. If you think I would have tagged you and you’re feeling up to the task, then you’re it.