wide world of boxes
After a wonderful, winding conversation at dinner last night with Wilhelmina and Mister Husband, it dawned on me that I often give the impression that the only food eaten in our house is fresh, local, organic, carefully-prepared bits of artisinal goodness. I never really meant for that to happen — it’s that those things seem more interesting to write about, and it’s true that my food and beverage range has grown during grad school. We still maintain a steady supply of what can only be described as box food, though, and some evenings that's the only food I want because it’s so easy and comforting and full of ingredients I can’t possibly pronounce. It’s true that right now there’s a two-day batch of vanilla ice cream in process, made from real vanilla beans and due to be served with homemade cherry sauce, but it’s also true that it might be preceded by any of the following:
- fish sticks
- Ore Ida crinkle-cut fries
- Kraft mac-and-cheese
- Creamy Garlic Tuna Helper
- a variety of ramen flavors (which I occasionally make with broth and bits of real chopped up food, but just as often gets made with water and the packet flavoring)
- Life cereal
- Hormel chili (this is a Mr. Husband item)
- canned corned beef hash (referred to as snoot hash, because I bet that corned beef is mostly ground up snoot. Whatever, snoot’s good on a cold evening.)
One of the house specialties, eaten in phases and then forgotten for a year or so at a time, is the classic der Wienerschnitzel sandwich: pre-sliced provolone melted on pre-fab pumpernickel bread, coated in mustard, and filled with polish sausage halves, a dill pickle spear, and jarred sauerkraut. You could make this with all-local, organic stuff, but it would completely defeat the spirit of the dish.
So as usual, we are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a conundrum. One Local Summer next to Tuna Helper. Local thick-cut pepper bacon and organic Farmer’s Market tomatoes with Hellman’s Mayo and store-bought bread. (Oh, the mayo-making experiment the other night! The entire kitchen ended up coated in eggs and oil, and the rest is too traumatic to recount. Let’s just say that two grown cooks were reduced to wailing and gnashing of teeth after multiple attempts.)
Comments
ROFL! I love it. I've started making recipes from Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee (Food Network).
Also, I love Homestyle Bakes. Jonathan vetoes them, though.
Posted by: Clancy | July 10, 2008 11:42 AM
Do you have one of those lovely infusion blenders? I think that's the secret. :)
Posted by: Spirophita | July 10, 2008 4:40 PM
We do! We did! We used an infusion blender, another handheld blender, a food processor, the regular bar blender, and also tried making it by hand. And adding the oil with an eyedropper at the beginning of the process. NO GO. SO FRUSTRATING.
Posted by: Krista | July 10, 2008 5:35 PM
Your grandmother made good homemade mayonnaise, as I recall. ...
Posted by: mom | July 10, 2008 8:24 PM
Hellman's Mayo is too classy for the Box Food list. Should be Miracle Whip! : )
Miracle Whip on toasted white-bread BLT sandwiches, eaten over the sink to catch the drips... Heaven.
This post made me smile
Froot Loops!!!
Posted by: Fresca Davis | July 11, 2008 9:14 AM
Egads! Never before have I even considered making my own mayo. I didn't even fathom that it would be possible! This requires research...
I love cooking with fresh produce, but it's frustrating since I cook solely for moi and there is always heaps of leftovers that turn sour before I can eat them. And now that I'm moving to a larger city with a much larger rent (and produce prices being as they are) I can predict that I will be reverting back to the mac-and-cheese, cereal, ramen noodle, pb&j sandwich diet of my college days...
Posted by: Brandy | July 11, 2008 3:42 PM
Elizabeth David was writing about commercial mayo in Britain, but I'm pretty sure she would have been happy to include Hellman's as "one of the major culinary disasters" had anyone been so foolish as to offer her any.
Even more than the daunting amount of work, I will never be able to bring myself to try and make homemade for fear of the shameful confirmation that I actually vastly prefer the stuff in the blue and yellow jar.
Posted by: storybystory | July 11, 2008 8:57 PM
Being a single parent, I have a repertoire of sure-fire quick and easy box meals that my kid will eat: Annie's Mac and Cheese (we like the Peace pasta with Paremsan, but the regular stuff is good, too); "fake McDonalds" which is Spud Puppies (organic tater tots), Quorn fake chicken nuggets (a veggie thing that has the texture of the real thing) and mixed frozen veg; Progresso soups; various kinds of chicken sausage I can cook on my Coleman grill. I buy these things only when they are on sale at the Wedge or Lund's; then I stock up.
My toaster oven gets a workout broiling fish. I'm lucky to have a kid who loves fresh fruit and most vegetables, but our fallback when I can't even think of cooking is Famous Dave's takeout. MMMM rib tips and fries!
Posted by: Joanna | July 12, 2008 10:08 AM
Ok, I feel better now. You'll be invited over for tacos soon. :)
Posted by: shannon | July 12, 2008 11:14 PM